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RELATIONSHIP-ADVICE FOR MEN

Written by Captain Mary on Friday, February 25, 2011

I wish I could take credit for this information, but it is from a new book, author Steve Harvey. What I did do is copy part of the book for the ladies to copy and print and put it on your frig. He has a humorous way of telling guys what they need to do to make their relationships work. But I certainly found his 10 commandments to be oh so true.

Steve Harvey's
Straight Talk 
No Chaser
(A mans view)

 
Steve Harvey’s 10 Commandments 

Thou Shalt Give Her Free Time

Thou Shalt Remember The Small Things

Thou Shalt Consistently Find New Ways To Say I Love You

Thou Shalt Chip In

Thou Shalt Help With The Kids

Thou Shalt Embrace The Art Of Foreplay

Thou Shalt Respect Her Schedule

Thou Shalt Send Her Roses, Just Because

Thou Shalt Remember The Golden Rule ( you can be happy or you can be right)

Thou Shalt Always Take Her Side

I hope this gives everybody some insight. It worked for me. I realize that women are indeed the ones to satisfy if the rest of the family wants to be happy. I guess what they say is true, "When Mama is happy everyone is happy"

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WASTE MANAGEMENT- RE-VISITED

Written by Captain Mary on Thursday, February 24, 2011

I finally got some replies to my letter to Waste Management, the governor of the state, Rick Scott, and the Mayor of my little town, which I didn't even write to, but the Governor forwarded it my local representative. With all this correspondence I still didn't get a letter from Waste Management, figures doesn't it!
I thought I would share with you the letter that my local Mayor sent, which makes me believe there is some hope in government, not much, but some. I am going to re-send my letter to Waste Management, over and over until I get a reply. I can't be ignored forever. If there is something in your government you don't like, write, write and re-write the officials. Never give up, and pursue them until you get a reply. We are the people of this Nation, lets start acting like it. Below is the letter I received from my local Mayor.

Dear Mary,


I have been forwarded your email and although there is not much the Mayor from Cutler Bay can do about a trash dump in Palmetto Bay ( assume it is on SW`184St) and run by the county. But, be sure, we are like minded. I believe that our great Nation is made up of many small governments that will give leadership to our national direction. Small Towns and cities will let larger counties and states know the mood of the people. I believe the mood is: enough! Enough waste, enough spending, enough invasion of our civil liberties.


I can only be the guardian of the small Town of Cutler Bay. I see it as our Nation. That is how we must view the world around us. As they say, one bite at a time.


I thank you for your email. I would recommend you contact the Village manager or mayor of Palmetto Bay and advise them of your concern. As stated, the local trash collection is not in Cutler Bay. Coming from the Village where it is located has greater weight.


As Winston Churchill once coined; "Never, Never, Never, give up".


With Kind Regards,


Edward P. MacDougall


Mayor


Town of Cutler Bay Town Hall


10720 Caribbean Blvd., Suite 105


Cutler Bay, Florida 33189

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RELATIONSHIPS

Written by Captain Mary on Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I have been thinking about relationships these days. With the economy, job loss, and so many other issues in this time of crisis, I wondered. I still see relationships that are alive and well, which leads me to believe that money and small comforts don't have anything to do with it. I watch some of my dear friends and what I see is perfect relationships and I would love to share with you what I have witnessed. This is no fly-by night observation, there are 7 couples, which I have named B, D, L, R, T, V, and couple W. 

The first thing to know is the basics, what are the priorities.
 First if you have children, that is without a doubt the most important, children under your care, dependent on your guidance to teach them how to be adults. If what they witness isn't good, how would they know that this is not normal.
The second must be yourself, sounds crazy but if you are not happy then why bother with anything else, how can you teach when you don't know how to live it. Never let anyone steal your energy, if that doesn't make sense then how about never be around someone who makes you feel bad after being with them. That feeling of being drained is not good, you will just drain someone else to get the good feeling back. That seems like a vicious circle doesn't it. So just get away from toxic people, without hurting their feelings.
The third is your spouse, significant other, friend, partner, or any relationship. These relationships should never take a toll on priority # 2. Conversation in a calm voice should do the trick, but if the conversation gets loud, then end it. Walk away, its like arguing with a painting on the wall, it won't change its color.
Last priority, is all that stuff you collected, nothing that can be replaced with money, should never trump the other 3 priorities.

Of all the couples that I have observed, they all have children, not all are biological, but it doesn't seem to make a damn bit of difference.
The main thing is all couples have a sense of calm. I have known them all for over 10 years, and I must admit, only when I achieved that peace in myself did I have a relationship like that.
There are no secrets, there is no cheating, and no jealously, there is enormous amount of respect for each other.
Each person has their own hobbies and friends, which they spend time with. It seems to me that they don't live separate lives, but they have separate interests. By having time doing what they love they are happy and not sacrificing anything that has to do with who they are. Priority 2. Time with friends is not over the top, so don't think that I am saying it's o.k. to do it all the time. No more than once a week seems to do the trick. Most important is the other partner not think it is time away from them. It is a ridiculous premise, and it shows insecurity and jealously. The partner should be happy that your life is not dependant on them, you should always be able to look in the mirror and recognize who is staring back at you.
As your reading you are probably thinking so when are these people a couple!
I also observed that all of these couples belong to a social group of some kind, perhaps a church group, a karate group, yaucht club, car club, whatever. A place to have fun in a social setting. So, when are these people a couple? That brings me to date night, a must for each of these couples, a time away from the kids, maybe just send the kids to the sitter and stay home and watch a movie. Date night doesn't have to be fancy, it just has to be. Sounds like these are busy people, the answer to that is, isn't everybody?
Time together is valued by each and everyone of these couples, along with family time. There is no raising of voices, no tears, in front of the kids. Your kids should think you guys are the perfect couple, and that people can get along is a peaceful manner, which makes them peaceful children.
Now that brings me to hurt feelings, even in ideal couples it happens. I have watched and noticed that these couples don't ever, ever hurt each others feelings on purpose or out of anger. There are no personal attacks, or one saying they do more than the other to make the relationship work. Because their relationship does work. I am certain it took time to come to this point, or perhaps they have always been considerate of each other.
Arguments, well, these couples do argue, maybe I can't even use this word, I will correct that by using the word disagree. This is where calm comminication comes, but it doesn't get into any extensive conversation, because these couples know each other and can anticipate each others reactions. So they never provoke each other into ridiculous fits of yelling and personal attacks.
Money, the root of all evil, or is it. It always seems that things work themselves out, When both partner are completely involved in what comes in and out of the house, then both ask each other about purchases or anything above normal expenses. It is always a joint venture, this way when things get tough they work as a team to cut the budjet where it is needed. If only one of the people work outside the home, it doesn't matter to these couples, the partner left at home, doesn't just sit, they do a job too. Teamwork, communication, respect for each other. I am certain that just waking up next to someone you love starts the day on a good note and going to bed the same way is imperative.
I am not saying that if these things are not the way your relationship unfolds, to dump the person. But, I would consider stepping back to see if it can be fixed. These are just observations from these 7 couples that I see all the time. I admire and respect them. There are always kisses, consideration, and when they are together in front of me, they are almost one person. If a person needs a repair or something from the store, they never hesitate to call on the other and they don't ask why, they do it. Because they are a team, in every sense of the word. After watching them connect to each other they too enrich my life. I can draw from all this positive energy and I leave them with a smile on my face. Because these couples treat everybody with love and respect. Good luck to everyone, these are special relationships and I hope for everyone that their life can be filled with this special love.

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HOME REMEDIES

Written by Captain Mary on Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Thought I would put together some easy, around the house remedies. We could all use some money saving ideas these days. My first choice is something I found that helps lighten age spots. I have been using this concoction for a couple of days and already notice the difference.

AGE SPOTS

Pinch of sugar
2 tablespoons of lemon juice.

Mix together and just dab a little on those spots, within a couple of days it will lighten them. If you go out in the sun it should lighten even quicker, but don't get carried away. UV rays and all that.

If you have some ideas or questions for me, I will try to find a easy remedy for you. Just leave your suggestions or questions in the comment box.

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FAMILY SADDNESS INTERRUPTED

Written by Captain Mary on Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I have seen the loss of family members before and my hope is that they can morn without interruption. When my grandfather passed away. My uncle scooped up my Grandmother in the pretense to be her caretaker and he only did it to get the money and property that was left behind. Spouting that he was entitled to this. I don't feel that any one child is entitled to more than another, after all they are family. But, in real life this is not what happens. When money is left the family begins to fight for their rights to it. This brings the family to what once was brothers and sisters then becomes nothing but a distant memory. Sometimes it never can be reconciled. How does this happen, when money becomes more important than people. The worst part is they tell you that it could never happen in their family. My attorney, when I was making my Will, made this very clear to me, that something happens when the leader of the family dies. It just isn't about them anymore its all about the cash. She gave me the advice and then I witnesses it first hand when my husband passed away.
My husband passed away on St. Patrick's Day of 2002, almost 9 years ago. I held his hand for hours, until he slipped away peacefully. Tears ran down my face and I could only think to myself that this couldn't be real. I found a man who loved me without reservation. How lucky was I to have such a man. I somehow made my way home, I don't remember. I do remember how my family was there waiting for me to help. My sister, an expert on this type of thing, knew just what to do and did it. Still in a daze and not really certain of the timeline, it was either the same day or the next day, Children and Family's knocked on my door. Still in shock I didn't understand their visit. Now that I look back I see it was all about money. Someone called them in to investigate my husbands death. Still, I was curious, they asked me questions about his history. I didn't understand what she was doing there, until she hinted that the complaint claimed I might be responsible for his death. I had so much documentation that the lady from Children and Families walked away disgusted that anyone would call her for this circumstance. Now, this was only the beginning. My husband had a x-wife which was determined to get her hands on any money he may have left behind. She started making phone calls to all the banks, claiming to be me. Thank goodness I had a friend at one of the banks, the lady at the bank called me and told me to get down there right away, someone was trying to take the money out of the account. All I can say is that I had an iron clad Will at my disposal, not to mention my name was on everything. Oh, she didn't stop at that, then she called the Insurance company, even though my name was on the policy as beneficiary, they had to do an investigation. Which held up the money for months, it didn't matter to me about the money, I just wanted to morn the loss of a wonderful man. I had no time to do this, I was so busy just trying to keep this woman from taking away my home and car. She did not quit, until I filed a claim against her with Children and Families. This seems like a cruel thing to do, but a year had gone by and I had to do something to get this woman out of my life. Now, can I mourn my loss or is it to late? I still harbor resentment for her taking away the time I should have had to cherish his memory. Even his family had turned their back on me, they didn't show up for his Memorial Service, which was wonderful and full of fantastic stories of his life.
The only way to protect yourself from this is to be certain that your family does not suffer through this horror, be sure that everyone is taken care of prior to your death. Accounts and mortgages must be named. Don't for a minute think that this could never happen in your family. Have an iron clad Will. Don't let money be an issue for your family. When they say money is the root of all evil, they aren't kidding. I can do one better, I am going to die penny-less. Just enough to dispose of my remains, no funerals, but a nice party. Bring a six-pack or a bottle, a covered dish and some snacks. The loss of someone you love is a time to celebrate what they meant to you and celebrate their lives. I have put the people that have gone before me in a very special place in my heart, the lessons I learned, the love they shared and the way they enriched my life. For every life has a purpose and when someone touches your life you have received a great gift. A gift you can keep forever and maybe pass on to your children.

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THE LOSS OF THE FAMILY MONARCH

Written by Captain Mary on Friday, February 18, 2011

It is always a sad day when we loose someone we love. My x-father in-law passed away Feb. 16th, to all our sadness.  I met Ramiro in the 1970's, when he became my Father-In-Law. He left a legacy of seven children and I can't even try to count all the grand and great grand children.
 I do know that after my divorce from his son, I was still included as a member of the family. Ramiro began his journey in Columbia, South America. I can't really say what his life was like there, but I had heard that they were well to do and even had their own tiger. I remember Ramiro telling me that the government became so corrupt that the only way to preserve his family was to move. What an undertaking to move his large family to America to begin a new life. The courage and fortitude of this man never faltered.
Like I said I met Ramiro in the early 70's, a firm Monarch, that ruled with a smile and so much love. It was always specail to be part of a family gathering, cooking a big pig over an open pit, or getting together during Christmas. Perhaps my fondest memories was sitting around the dining room table drinking Colombian firewater and munching on chocolate covered ants. The funny part is when he smiled the little ant legs were stuck in his teeth.
Ramiro will be sorely missed, a part of my heart will always keep him, for my children honored and always revered him, even though his family was large he had a personal relationship with each and every person. The impact that he extended to his family will live on forever, for this Monarch has put a little of himself in everyone he has touched. I will remember Ramiro as my only father-in-law, the man who imbraced me and my children and grandchildren, as if we were the only one in the family. I will fondly remember how he would call my name, and give me an embrace each and every time we saw each other. I will always remember his smile and how he held himself. Ramiro, thank you for being such a special part of my life, I will always honor your memory. Your 85 years on the earth has touched so many, and the world will be a better place because of you.

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UPDATE ON A STEP BACK IN TIME.

Written by Captain Mary on Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Last year I had the honor of watching over a beautiful car during a car show. Lots of car shows later and thousands of cars have been graded and eliminated, looking for those top Classic Cars. I had a great feeling about this beautiful car and my friends just got back from Philadelphia with their trophy and National Win. Please go back and look at the pictures at A step back in time . Congratulations to Ralph and Carolyn, what can I say, I just knew it. All the judges were talking about it. Or maybe it was because I was flirting with them.

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DOES THE CRIME FIT THE PUNISHMENT?

Written by Captain Mary on Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I am constantly hearing about marijuana and its legalization. Seems to be something that is in the headlines constantly. I have my own opinion about this subject and it is just my opinion as a former smoker of the stuff. Well, I was a child of the 70's, where peace, love and happiness was the motto. Where we would indulge in the weed and conjure up images of love and futures that were full of rock n roll. An existence of care-free, crime-free life. Oh those were the years.
Now I hear about so many people going away to the "Big House" for growing this stuff. I think that somewhere along the lines the wrong thing got legalized. I looked at the different effects of legalized intoxicants and it seems to me that while under the influence of alcohol or prescription medication there is more deaths. How many people have over-dozed on weed compared to alcohol or prescription medications?
Does alcohol have a purpose except get you mentaly impaired?
I somehow think that the wrong drug has been legalized, weed was once legal, what happened? I hear stories of the "Gateway Drug", seriously. Gateway to what? Harmony, peace a feeling of calm and perhaps some relief of eye problems, benefits for cancer patients, the list is so long. Please explain this to me!
I would think that the government could look around at some of the other countries and the result of legalization. Duh!!, it doesn't take a rocket scientist.
Let's face it, we could use anything right now to get some tax dollars to pull the country up, why not marijuana?
Back to a story I heard, there was this young man. A super good guy, a friend to everyone, not extravagant, a father who chose to make money by growing some weed. Not confident in his education and perhaps being from a foreign country not certain what direction to go.
This guy, was a important part of our economy, paid taxes and secured mortgages, etc.. So for thirteen years, quietly grew some weed. Never more than he needed to live a normal life and give his kids the things that all parents want for their children. Not to mention never touched the stuff himself.
Then by some strange coincidence was caught. Now this is the part that I am confused. Let the punishment fit the crime. What does that mean exactly? I have seen murders walk free, and mothers who kill their children get short stays, because they were under the dreaded post pardon depression. What ever! Now who did this guy hurt, this is a no violent crime, and I use the term crime loosely. So, what I heard is this guy got 3 years in the slammer. Are you kidding, what for? Do we really need to pay good tax dollars to keep this person incarcerated? My goodness, give the guy a fine and call it a day. Stop wasting court costs and focus on putting away people that don't belong walking around with normal people. There has to be a way to convey the importance of putting away no violent offenders into a system that will turn them into a violent offender. This is what they learn while incarcerated in a backward system that does nothing to rehabilitate anyone. They constantly release child molesters and murderers back into the community. That alright with you, release the guys that are non-violent before the system f---ks them up.
Lets just legalize weed and tax the hell out of it, and punish the people who kill people driving drunk, the legal intoxicant. Sometimes the government embarrasses me, they are just not looking at the big picture, they don't look past archival thoughts. I hope the new generation will be using their brains instead of listening to a bunch of stuck up old politicians.

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WASTE MANAGEMENT

Written by Captain Mary on Friday, February 11, 2011

Doesn't really seem like a worthy topic, but it definitely got me rilled up. Let me tell you how much it angers me. It's back to what I say about this country, who slowly takes our rights away.
It was a regular day, sunny and I was working outdoors doing a little cleaning. Filled up the truck for a trip to the dump. I was just getting use to giving my identification so that I proved I indeed lived in the neighborhood and I was authorized to use the facility. I pay taxes so I understood that it was a paid service for me and the community taxpayers.

I approached the entrance where the attendant would check my identification and tell me what lane to go to. This time was different, I held out my id and the attendant took it from my hand, he began punching in my drivers license number into this machine. I literally yelled, "What are you doing?", he replied with telling me about the new procedures. He pointed at a new sign, which said in several languages that there is new procedures. I was very upset that Waste Management was now putting my information into a data base, not to mention how the costs of this new program is going to effect my taxes. Are you kidding, how many times am I going to be told that I can't be trusted. Now they are telling me that I should trust them with all my information. I sent this email:

Director of Waste Management

I can foresee the future of this country. I already pay for garbage, I went to the dump today to drop off some palm leaves as I frequently do. I didn't mind so much when I was asked for my identification. Today, my identification was taken out of my hand and my personal information was manually put into a scanner.



This indicates to me, first additional costs, such as the sign telling me, that more of my personal information will be collected and who knows where it goes. Now I find that this information is shredded afterward. After what, it is put into a data base, printed. Then does it record every time I am making a visit to the dump. Of course it does. I see that in the future I will be getting charged for individual dumping. Or will I be limited?.


It is just another chance for my information to be released into the public. If I can not be trusted, then why should I trust that my information is being handled properly?


I am sick and tired of this country tracking my every move. I pay my taxes, or should I say, my ever increasing taxes. By the way how many more people had to be hired to handle all this information. I demand to know how much this program is costing me and the tax payers of the county. Are you kidding, I have to tighten my belt, but my own community is making certain that I can never own my home or end my yearly struggle to pay taxes, which is more a month than my own mortgage. Does this seem right to you?


Tell me what will happen if I refuse to have my license scanned?


Thank you in advance for the answers to my questions.


Capt. Mary
Resident of Cutler Bay
 
Tell me what you think, do you think I will even get a reply?

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PEACE ON THE PEACE RIVER

Written by Captain Mary on Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Last minute plans are sometimes the best. I was talking to my son on the phone at the beginning of the week and he mentioned that he was going on a camping trip. Well, out of curiosity I asked, "Where are you going?", he replied, "A last minute trip with Monica and the kids to the Peace River". I asked why I wasn't invited, he said that he was only invited the day before. Anyway, I invited myself.
I have gone camping often and getting ready wasn't a difficult task. An hour later I was ready.
Friday arrived and we headed on our journey to the Peace River camping area. The kids just old enough now to really enjoy the camp and help find fire wood. The weather was just perfect. The gang did some exploring and Jonathan was amazed by a cows jaw bone, he wanted to keep it so bad.

The next morning was our trip to the river itself. Lots of gear loaded up in the canoes. Monica, my daughter, and her boyfriend had everything you could dream of. I laughed so hard when Jeff pulled out a chain saw. Monica mentioned that camping doesn't have to be roughing it. I was happy to have my cup of hot coffee in the morning, so I didn't complain at all.

We took our time, four adults and five children, the water was high enough that we never had to get out and push our way down the river. The water was cold, but the kids didn't seem to notice much. Jonathan, the youngest was making up a million excused for us to stop. He was hunger, had to pee, or some other crazy thing. The minute we stopped he was in the river, swimming and playing, forgetting why we stopped in the first place. We found a camping spot early in the day, and it was well worth it. Plenty of time for fun, fishing, and setting up for dinner. We had the best time ever, I think the kids had a great time.

I brought my dog with me, Bogart, he was the greatest little guy, he chased vultures and slid in the mud. Boggy was full of mud and stickers. The only thing I worried about was him near the waters edge, due to gators. 
I did a little fishing and caught this big ugly thing. Which by the way tasted pretty good. An evening full of fun, brought us all to an early end to the evening. The weather was great until it began to rain about 11:30 that night, that's when we realized that the tents were not exactly water proof. A bit of a soggy night couldn't even ruin the fun. The next morning we dried out some things and headed back on our adventure down the river. We stopped frequently to pan for sharks teeth and for snacks and swimming. No hurry, no worry. I had a great time with my family. I don't think my kids realize how important these moments are for me. There is nothing better than family.

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