Cappy's Corner

Indian Givers

So, the other day I get a message from my daughter telling me that she has a new phone number. What, why??? OK, let me call and find out what happened. I call her father and he goes on to tell me that his mother (Mimi) got mad at Shy because she didn't want to spend time with her. OK, my daughter is 12 and Mimi is...well, grandma (not a very fun one at that). So what do you expect, not much. Shy asked her dad if she could go over to her friend Shannon's house for fireworks. Sure, no problem her father said. Shy did spend the whole day with her grandparents before the fireworks. So what is the big deal. Well, if her father doesn't have a problem, then neither should g'ma, right. I mean he is the father, so he makes the decisions when he is present. So here is the kicker...Mimi bought Shy a blackberry phone (too much for a 12 yr. old as far as I am concerned) about a month ago, and now, because Shy didn't want to hang out for fireworks, her phone was taken away and shut off. Now, I am a very family oriented person and I do believe that children need to stay in touch with family. But, do you take away presents from them when they don't visit???? I think not. I don't think you should give a gift to someone, with conditions..."You can have the $450.00 phone, but only if you visit me!!!" Yeah, no!!! A gift is a gift and not leverage for you to get your way when you want it. No wonder my daughter acts out!!! How is it that I, as her mother, am the only one with sense? How can adults act this way? Children I can understand, but an adult. That's a great example to show my kids. Take away things that you give to people so that you can be in control at all times. The world does not work that way. So now, I have to tell my daughter that for future reference, think about what her Mimi is giving her before she accepts it. Because it may be held over her head for leverage. This story goes on to get better, so since Shy can't have the phone anymore...Mimi is going to give it to Sam (my 8 yr. old). Yeah, even smarter. That would definitely piss off Shy, but why the little mind games from a grown woman. I told the kids' dad that g'ma might as well just buy Max (my 5 yr old) and oozy to play with. This is just crazy. The kids' dad end up taking the phone for himself and now Shy is back to square one, no phone.Thanks for daddy, he was nice enough to give Shy his old Nextel, better than nothing...

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