Written by Captain Mary on Saturday, May 31, 2008

My son, daughter and all the children left Friday night to vacation via RV. I was asked by my son to go by and feed his kitties. Queenie and I first spent the afternoon at a Raw Food Lecture, which was so gripping I could hardly stay awake. After the lecture, which was really full of information, we headed to my sons house. Queenie brought her camera, since Jason (my son) is always the King of pranks, we thought we would take some photos of our little pranks. Defacing his counter tops and statues, invading his liquor cabinet, pantry and refrigerator. I can't wait until Queenie posts those pics. We should pick up a bunch of house sitting jobs. Jason will be gone for another week, I think we can come up with a whole bunch of good stuff. I would love to hear some suggestions. If you could comment them my way, Queenie and I will consider posting photos of your pranks.

Public Schools are Failing

Written by Captain Mary on Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Even though it was a short week it seems so busy, same work to do but less time to do it in. This place is in turmoil, the family is heading out to vacation and the place is moving at a million miles an hour. It certainly seems like a lot work so everyone can relax. I am staying home to enjoy the peace and quiet. Let you know how friday works out, there is always some last minute drama to resolve.

I was talking to a friend today about what is happening to our Public Schools, the cuts of teachers pays and kids supplies and programs. It occured to me that the reason for the schools wasn't for the Superitendant to get a 45 thousand dollar bonus of have a giant staff of people that make six figures incomes. Correct me if I am wrong, but the purpose was to educate our children. Guess what, they are making the cuts at the wrong end of the spectrum. Start at the top, not the bottom. Our future is our children and the way it looks now, the kids today can hardly read. What is going on? Home School folks, you can do it in the time it takes you to do your part of the kids homework. They are wasting their time and our money.

Memorial Day Weekend

Written by Captain Mary on Tuesday, May 27, 2008

What a great weekend with friends and family. My friend Shelah offered $5 to anyone of the kids playing in the pool who could answer the question "What Holiday are we Celebrating?" and "What is it about?" The first question all answered correctly our surprise came when not one of the dozen children playing could give us an answer. What it came down to was that the kids got a day off from school and not one of them actually knew why we were celebrating. It made me wonder what they are teaching them in school. I know that most of what my grandchildren learned was taught at home, the reason for all the homework they get is for us to teach them, because they are going to school for six hours a day and not coming home with nothing to began their future as our leaders. Let me say I can't blame teachers, they have far too many students and their hands are so tied with all the political testing that the ones lost are our children. Well Happy Memorial Day for those who know what it's all about. Embrace your freedom, for our children don't yet know what it is all about.


Written by Captain Mary on Sunday, May 25, 2008

On Safari again, I just have so many stories. You just don't know how funny the little things can be, until after its over. It was one of those days, that I just had too much of that fantastic African coffee. I was starting to feel that urge to pee pee, well we were so far out, and there was a lot of tall grass. We just passed a cheetah, I told our guide Big John that I needed to go. It was going to be one of those natural places, not a potty around for miles.

Big John got on the radio to the other guides, ones behind us ones ahead of us. The guides are very protective of the tourist. Job security and all that. After some conversation in Swahili he said it would be safe up the bumpby road a bit. OOOOOh! the bumpy road was getting to me, I started doing the pee pee dance, you know the one where you can't really stay still or your bladder will spill out. Hurry Big John stop the van for God's sake. He slowed the van in a nice open area, looks like there is nothing here. The guides have an amazing ability to see animals in the grass, they will point things out to us and we stare at nothing. So I trusted his judgement, at this point the pee pee dance had turn into disco. Finally stopping, I slid the door open and jumped out walking toward the back of the van. I am looking around because you just never know. Ahhhhhhhh! what a relief, returning to the van with one foot in I look out the other side of the van with shock, well here comes two lions. I jumped in and slid the door closed as fast as I could. While this was happening Big John has his head down in one of his information books. I said "Big John look there", pointing my finger at the approaching lions. His reply was casual, "Where did they come from?". He asked if anyone else had to go, funny guy that Big John.


Written by Captain Mary on Saturday, May 17, 2008

This story is not what you think its about. A busy day around the house people coming and going things laying around. The day before we had been fishing and left one of the fishing rods that had got broken on the back patio, not thinking about anything, just getting it out of the way.

I continued to go through the patio playing with the new kittens and noticed that one of them didn't come over to me. I looked around the patio and there Simba was, his little body hanging from the fishing rod, only his back legs touching the ground. He was hooked, it wasn't horrible or anything like that, no blood or gore, it was a perfect lip hook. The hook went all the way through, there were kids everywhere that day, but none got to see. I yelled for my son to come here quickly and grab the wire snips. Jason stood looking at Simba with a hook through his lip, by then I was holding this tiny little guy in my hands. Jason cut the hook out and Simba went on to play with the others, no worse for wear. After that day Simba was renamed CatFish.


Written by Captain Mary on Thursday, May 15, 2008

I had to renew my Captain's license, every 5 years like it or not. I go through a refresher course and am embarrassed to say the other women are dumb as stumps. They asked for the answers to the quiz because I got 100% on all of mine. I gave them the wrong answer. Well, they let you miss 2 questions. They didn't have the answer anyway. After all that we are told because of Homeland Security we must go in person and be fingerprinted at the Federal Building downtown, yuk. I can understand the security we are taking paying customers on the high seas after all. I got up at the crack of ass, drove to the train, got on the trail, road it to the court house. I got there an hour early. So I was the first one in line. I met a man who was also there for fingerprinting. I told him that I had forgot to take the 2 knives and a pair of scissors out of my purse. I told him I would just act surprised and I would let them hold it until I came downstairs.
Let finally let us in the Federal Building to go through the security check, ID's and all that, then the x-ray machine. I didn't beep, and my hand-bag went right through security, unsecured. As we walk past the check-point they tell us that the Coast Guard Office is closed for a week.
The next week I planned on the same ritual. You know I forgot those knives and scissors again. Security check time again and again I just walk through with lethal weapons in my hand-bag. First one in line so I was out and home before 9 a.m.. I feel so much safer knowing that people are in the Federal building with weapons.
Let's not forget to thank Homeland Security for giving me the opportunity to prove they suck!!!


Written by Captain Mary on Monday, May 12, 2008

While staying at the Serengeti Wildlife Lodge in Tanzania in the middle of the Serengeti National Park, we really enjoyed the antics of the Vervet Monkeys, they just get into everything. The day we arrived, we were dusty and headed directly to the bar, Margo doesn't drink but the bar has the best view over-looking everything. A great place for sunsets too. I went to the bar and got a nice cold Tanzanian beer. Margo and I sat for only a moment when Vervet monkeys started coming out of the trees and bushes. They didn't appear to be afraid of anything. The monkeys had some issues they were total drunks. Any beer bottle unattended was scooped up, they were nice enough to place it right back on the table. We watched as other guests would stand up and look over the railing leaving their beer on the table, the minute they walked away a monkey was taking a sip. The invasion was on, they were everywhere, I guess it was Happy Hour. Me and Margo could not stop laughing and taking pictures. The monkeys were beginning to get a little too close to the guests and the bartender had to put his foot down, as soon as he came out from behind the bar the monkeys took off. Apparently this was a common ritual and the monkeys definitely knew the bartender.

The next morning I went shopping before our Safari, I needed something with easy access of my cameras, I found what I thought was the perfect bag. I went to the cashier to pay for my wonderful new item and she says to me "You are getting a monkey basket", I smiled and said "yes", not knowing what that really stood for. Our guide was waiting for us to go on Safari, as we were entering the van, he says to me "you have a monkey basket", I didn't want to feel stupid so I just smiled. I don't get it, what is a monkey basket. The morning spent on Safari, but that is another story, lets talk about one animal at a time. Lunch time back to the lodge, walking toward the dinning room we all notice that the sliding glass doors are opened just a bit, they do that mostly for ventilation. We also noticed some activity on the table tops. The vervet monkeys were up to no good, they were running in and out of the dinning room stealing silverware and anything they could get their little grubby hands on, we watched and were entertained so long we almost forgot about lunch.

The next morning I got up really early before there was any human activity, I took my camera bag aka monkey basket with me. There right in front of me was a mom monkey with the smallest baby I have ever seen, she was cleaning and cuddling him, putting my bag down, grabbed one of my cameras, leaving my bag behind me so I could get on the ground for a good photo. Suddenly I heard a sound behind me I turned to find another monkey in my basket grabbing at my camera, I got up and ran toward him, he quickly ran up a tree taking the only thing his tiny hand could grab quickly, my smokes. I ran after him shouting as he was tearing open the pack of smokes, I didn't want him to get poisoned. These monkeys have all the bad habits. He got the pack open and began throwing cigarettes at me one at a time, hitting me in the head. I must have made quite a bit of commotion, some of the people who worked at the lodge came over, they were laughing hysterically, with their beautiful accents one of them says, "they took it because you have a monkey basket, its an invitation". Well I know now what a "Monkey Basket is", a place for monkey toys. The monkey finally threw the pack at me, hitting me in the head and disappeared out of sight.