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WHAT IS THE "NEW NORMAL"?

Written by Captain Mary on Sunday, February 21, 2021

 NEW NORMAL???????

What does that even mean? I am not really what would be called a normal person, in the big scheme of things. I tend to be a little abrasive, which only means people don't know how to react to the truth or a statement that doesn't include consideration of their delicate feelings. Yuk!!!

I am certain that I am more abrasive with the things around me impeding in my happiness. As a retiree I am excited about new directions that will fill my life with adventure and happiness. I got the opportunity to take a little vacation with sister. I found myself acting normal except for all the masks and the social distancing. It still feels like a plague is in our mist. I can't help, however, the feeling that people will never be able to embrace each other again. 

My generation is awesome and we wish that all the following generations can find the peace and happiness that we enjoyed in the past. We worked for everything we got, it was actually the whole point.



  I did enjoy my adventure to Colorado with sissy and my niece. This is just one of things that we saw.

Since my travel has been greatly reduced, the new plan is to rediscover our beautiful nation. Can fly to so many places here in the states. I need to enjoy this opportunity even though I have been to every state in the U.S.. Years have passed since my original discovery of the States, time to do something with the rest of this life that I am so lucky to have.

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2020 IN REVIEW

Written by Captain Mary on Friday, December 18, 2020


    January arrived and I was filled with excitement. My grandchildren would arrive and fill my home with sounds of youth and curiosities about life and the world around us. This year, the year of my official retirement and boy do I have travel plans for this year. I have planned an amazing trip to the other side of the world. Starting in Singapore and circling around Malaysia and Indonesia and then go to Japan perhaps. My grandchildren and myself, experiencing what Asia has to offer.

      Perhaps that last sentence was a bit of a give away, what did Asia have to offer after all? As, it happens, the trip of amazement and wonder was cancelled 20 days before we were to arrive at our destination. This trip was to be a gift to my grandson, Samuel, a way to show my grandchildren other parts of the planet. Shyanne, was already gifted such a trip, but to Europe, and now I have created a monster, she finds herself on many of my excursions. When a person breaks out of the box of our mundane existence and begins to explore, something explodes in our life. The world gets bigger and better as we reach beyond our familiar surroundings and actually get to be part of it. So much better then watching the Discovery Channel. 

    The world as we knew has just changed with the onset of this world-wide virus. I can't say that I get involved in the hype and panic that the news and propaganda want us to hear. I can't stand looking into peoples faces and can no longer see smiles or frowns, an absence of expression makes life around me very depressing. As things progressed into quarantines things got worse. Just when you think it can't get worse it does. I don't want to get into so many of my conspiracy theories, although there are many, but it is hard to overcome an overall feeling of sadness everywhere I go. To see so many friends and family in fear, as if living with the fear of death is the new way of life. Should anyone live their life this way as if we all had terminal illnesses, and afraid of the person next to them giving them the plague. I wish that it was over, this virus that is not just killing people but destroying our happiness down deep in the depth of our souls. I am a staunch believer that life should be filled with as much happiness and love you can muster. With so much damage done to our lives, will we ever recover?

    I am lucky to have work when I want it, so I don't have the additional worries of not making ends meet on top of all the short comings and restrictions of today's lifestyle. I would have never guessed that I wouldn't be able to hug people that I love. This year I lost my little friend Bogey, my Maltese dog. I had to wait in the car while the vet assistant carried my little man to his death. I sat waiting in tears for them to bring him back to me, so he would get his proper burial at home. As I looked inside the cardboard box which they so carefully posed him and covered him like a sleeping beauty, I became hysterical over my loss, because at that moment I found myself more alone then I had ever been. I found at that moment that there are people in this world, pandemic or not who knew I needed a hug. My friends from the office came out and gave me a hug. Don't want to give names but I have the best veterinarian team in the world. 

    The months are slowly passing by, hope dwindling at each corner. The safe places are being replaced with violence, racism, and pure hate for our fellow man. My earlier predictions came true when the election began to heat up and the way we treated each other only declined more. I hate to say it, I also noticed that so many people have become clones following masses into stupidity. I guess this is what it feels like just before a civil war breaks out. I can only hope that it doesn't turn into World War 3 and we can see the errors of our current thought process before it's too late. 

    The holidays this year have come and gone, they just didn't have the happiness a family waits all year for. Most were cancelled just because I didn't have to think about all the people I miss, instead of enjoying them all I could see was the masked, social distanced people I use to see smile.

    So much has happened to crush my soul, yet I will always have my family who picks me up when I am having a hard time standing. I am smothered with hugs when I am with them, if I go to jail or die from a plague for this, then so be it. What has happened, getting in trouble for loving? 

    

    

    

    

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MY HOLIDAY SEASON

Written by Captain Mary on Tuesday, November 13, 2018

To me the season starts with Halloween, this year a party at a friends house. So much fun to get together with old friends that have nearly disappeared from our minds. So nice when we can recharge the beautiful friendship that has withstood so many years.
 
Next, was once my favorite. Thanksgiving, not for its historic meaning or for anything except a gathering of my family with food, fun and cheer. Notice I said "was once my favorite". I have such mixed feelings anymore. This year is going to be sissy's turn to host and yet it will be at my brothers house. A large group of people expected, I believe the largest group yet. Not a bad thing at all, the more the merrier, the fun will go on for days.
The small issue I have is getting together with my children and grandchildren, for so many years rotating between myself and their father. Then the last few years it seems like more of a burden than a joyful explosion of love with family and friends.
I almost stepped away from my holiday, because of a guest who was invited whom I can't stand. So many reasons why, not important, I just make it a habit to be around people who enrich my life, not destroy it. Mixed emotions are the fact that my children love this person and they might think that I am not being reasonable, that I should be the one to sacrifice my family holiday for the sake of an outsider, who cannot control their drinking habits and say horrible things not only to me, but to my children and grandchildren. Not understanding how part of my life was spent just trying to survive his abuse. Years have gone by and we were able to put aside our past. Until, a couple of years ago when I found that the person I knew many years ago as an abusive husband had returned, and not only used his horrible words and his wrath on me, but my children and grandchildren. So, as the dilemma continues, I don't want to hurt my children's feelings either.
 I was pondering on this thought with only a couple weeks to go, to Thanksgiving.  I finally decided to call my x and ask him not to attend and give as many reasons as necessary to get him to concede. As I was looking at my phone with this intention a text came through from my daughter who somehow anticipated my needs, as always and made that call for me. I thanked her, but it had to be bittersweet conversation for her and her father. I am so sorry to hurt my child that way, I had agreed to go away while her father was in attendance at my families celebration. That was not acceptable to my daughter, I love her for understanding and I am so sorry to make her hurt her fathers feelings for the sake of mine.
 
The last holiday of the season is Christmas, and I think that it is time to say good-bye to this one. The kids are grown, the actual meaning is not important to me. I lost my father just before Christmas, it now seems like this holiday just isn't worth a celebration. I sound awful this year. All I want to do is leave the country, sit on a beach with a tropical drink in my hand and the sound of the ocean ringing in my ears. Soothing my soul and easing my worried thoughts. I want everyday of my life to be full of smiles and love. 

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FAMILY CANOE TRIP 2018

Written by Captain Mary on Saturday, March 31, 2018

PEACE RIVER
 
 
We have tried and tried to gather the family together for an adventure. We have come up with ideas and each one had failed because of one reason or another. Thanks to Monica who put together an idea that everyone could manage to come together. A canoe trip along the Peace River in central Florida, camping in that primitive way. Tents and pee pee in the woods, washing in the river, living out of coolers and limited supplies. A central location for everyone and a weekend in nature.  The weather was just perfect, except maybe the first night that dropped down into the 40's, it took awhile for me to crawl out of my very cozy sleep bag and my tiny tent the next morning.

 
We canoed up river to find a spot to support all 20 of us. Canoes were stacked with supplies and people, because our primitive still included steaks and sausage and or course a generous supply of alcoholic beverages. The daytime was jumping into canoes, paddling up river to go fishing or hunting down the fossilized shark teeth that are all over the river. The kids found ropes hanging out of trees to swing into the cold water for a splash. Definitely fun to watch, as some of the landings didn't go as perfect as they had anticipated.  

 
In the evenings we shared laughter and stories, and some warmth. The kids seem to embrace the adventure, from climbing trees, gathering firewood, knocking each other out of the canoes, and just paddling around. It was so nice to see everyone away from electronic devices, even though we still had service they stayed away from their social media and embraced the wilderness. There was three of the group who had never tent camped and they were great, I think they would do it again.
 
Still close to civilization, yet far enough away to enjoy the hawks fishing along the river, bats hanging in the Spanish moss waiting night time and, of course, those cute little alligators peaking out of the waters surface. A weekend of personalities and peace along the ancient river.
I think we are all in for next year.


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MURPHY'S WRATH

Written by Captain Mary on Sunday, February 25, 2018

A long, long time ago in a land far away, who am I kidding, in my childhood. I grew up with lots of phrases, "People who live in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones", "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth", well that one took me awhile, does a gift horse have different teeth!. My favorite one was, "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong", this phrase is commonly known as Murphy's Law. This guy Murphy lives with me most of the time, but he left my side to attack with Wrath my dear friend.
 
My friend called to tell me about the eruption and flood of that ever wonderful thing we call indoor plumbing. As the flood waters began to rise from the most horrible places, it left behind a river of paper and you know. On the beautiful polished wood floors and the Spanish tiles my friend ran with dozens of towels trying to stop this unpleasant eruption. That is hardly the worst part, the guy who came to fix it didn't know how to turn off the house water because the handle was missing. Hello, pliers!!! This is the guy who is going to fix your problems. Oh Murphy, please be gentle and go away. After 3 days and countless workers, the problem has some resolve, never heard of removing the toilet to snake the pipes? Well now what does she do with all those towels, throw them in the washer would be my solution. That is a great idea until Murphy strikes again and breaks the washing machine. In the meantime the waterfall in the pond stops working, and the regular guy couldn't seem to fix it. Of course not, that would be too easy.
Well, somehow my friend got her waterfall working again, I guess she didn't need the service man after all. That is one issue taken care of, no the plumbing isn't fixed. The cable finder had to come and mark the underground lines, he wasn't all that bright either. With a little supervision he took care of the marking, before the backhoe arrives to dig up the entire yard that is. When did the plunger stop fixing these little problems?
 
My beautiful friend finally called enough service people to get someone out to the house to look at the washing machine. Still waiting for the part to come in. If all that wasn't enough, she finally was able to get out of the house and rejoice at the thought of doing something beside dealing with her new friend Murphy, even going to work would be a pleasure.
 
No, that would be too easy, leaving for work she is driving away and hears a thump, thump, thump. You guessed it, Murphy was in the passenger seat and put a big nail in her tire. After a week of the Wrath of Murphy she was finally able to enjoy the beautiful sunshine and a good nights sleep. Now everything seems so much better after a week of what can go wrong, did go wrong. Things like these may overwhelm most people or at least pull chunks of hair out of your head, not this woman, I call my friend. Days like these are absolutely what makes the good days so good. Like BBQ, everything tastes better. Here is to time away from Murphy or learning to live with him.
 

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HORROR STORIES IN LIFE

Written by Captain Mary on Sunday, February 04, 2018

Last night I went to the movies to watch "Winchester", a horror flick. I like horror movies for the excitement, much of them don't get me too excited, seems like I am always expecting something different. This story was based on actual events and on a real historical haunted house. Without giving away the story it is a must see! I mean jumping out of your seat and chill bumps kind of movie. A movie made from a real life attraction.
 
 
I guess the surprises of the movie were still in my brain as I entered the grocery store. What I thought was a regular day shopping for food turned out to be something else. Most of the time when I am shopping I am on auto-mode, not really paying attention to what is going on around me. I was casually standing by the cooler doors, just gazing in to see what peeked my interest. Just as I began to reach to open the door, the door next to me began opening on its own. I stepped back and just looked, suddenly an arm outstretched then a leg from the inside of the cooler. That was all I could see, no body, I jumped and shouted "What the F...k!". Then climbing out of the cooler along the side of the shelving a young lady emerges. By then I must have jumped out of my skin. A lady standing nearby started laughing and the girl who slipped out of the cooler was apologizing for scaring the sh...t out of me. If I didn't have a heart-attack on the spot I must be in pretty good shape. The lady who laughed thanked me for making a joy out of her day and the cooler girl just stood smiling. These are the times when a person can't help laughing at themselves.  

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Costa Rica

Written by Captain Mary on Monday, August 10, 2015

Costa Rica mother and daughter trip. My last trip for the summer the last of three that is, and I thought it would be great for a mother and daughter to go on a trip and adventure. We started out by renting a car and heading out towards the big Blacksand beaches of  Costa Rica.  It took us forever just to find our little hotel but it was worth it, a cute little bungalow nestled in the back of town.  It was great to have our own car, we explored on our own and pretty much did whatever we wanted to.  From wandering around the beautiful beaches to standing atop cliffs just enjoying the view to an evening out ladies night only.   We zip lined in the forest we repelled waterfalls and enjoyed ourselves even though the rain began to come  and the river began to swell.  We made it back to camp just in time.
 We took a great excursion to the Hot Springs that were heated by volcanoes amazing is the only thing I can say to describe it.

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I MISS MY FRIEND

Written by Captain Mary on Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Over two years ago a good friend of mine was taken away from me. Bad choices or just stupid stuff, just the same he was gone. We wrote to each other on a regular basis and it would always put a smile on my face when I read one of his letters. It started to be normal, which is not the way a friendship survives, I still missed him so much, but it was bare able. Time passed and he was transferred to a closer location, which somehow made me feel better.

I still can't help thinking about when we met though, better times. The karate studio that we both began attending. Women and girls would talk about him and how cute he was, yet no one would ever say a word to the man. One day I just sat down next to him and began a conversation, that was in 2006. We became fast friends and spent time together, we went to karate competitions together, we traveled all over the place, once landing in Las Vegas, all I can say to that is "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". Even though we were years apart in age, we had so much in common. Sharing each others secrets and we could talk about virtually anything. There is something very special about our relationship that defies the normal thinking.

I remember going to karate competitions and the girls and women wondering if we were dating and the rumors were something that we encouraged and got a really good laugh out of. They would never believe that we were just great friends, we use to try to explain our relationship and in the end it was more fun to let them think what ever they wanted. He lovingly calls me "old lady", it makes me smile, since he is 18 years younger, I have nick names for him too, I call him my "boy toy". He is so good as a friend, always making me feel beautiful and special, we encourage each other every time we are together.

I did get a short visit with him while he was at work yesterday and he grabbed me, hugged me and made obscene gestures. Its those moments that make up for the time we are away from each other. Most would think he is out of my league or I am out of his. But true friendship does not see age, body size, or anything physical. I must admit I don't mind looking at him though. I see far into his soul and who he really is, he is a wonderful, loving person. I can't wait for September when he can resume his normal life once more. As strange as a friendship can be, I only hope that everyone can say that they have a friend that has their back no matter what happens.

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DISABLED OR A NINJA?

Written by Captain Mary on Tuesday, March 19, 2013

DISABLED OR A NINJA?

I am a "Domicile Maintenance Technician" and come across some very interesting personalities in the course of a week. I have one special customer who carries a "Disabled Sticker" in his vehicle, this does not mean that he can't get around though.

Once a week I go to his house and go to work. This home is full of some amazing collections, art work, trophies of accomplishments, photos of cherish memories and so many other things that take a life to accumulated. So many of these collectibles are delicate in nature and care must be taken when moving around the house. Now that the environment is set I can tell you about some of my experiences with the Ninja.

One day while I was sitting on the floor dusting the trophies that he has collected and one toppled over onto the carpet. Now, I know that this could not have made a sound, suddenly a voice from behind me says to watch out not to break anything. My friend is a very large man, who seemly walked through the walls, because I didn't hear a sound of his approach. It startles me each and every time he does this to me. I don't think that I have ever broken anything and after more than a dozen years the Ninja should have a little more faith in me. I do understand that the collectibles, which I will refer to as "stuff" for now on, are fragile and very important to this family.

Another incident when the Ninja snuck up on me, was when I moved a pine cone off the carpet. Always sneaking up behind me, the Ninja appears out of no where. Seemingly knowing when I am going to topple or drop something before I do. In real life this man moves at a slow steady pace, but when he turns into Ninja he appears out of nowhere.

My daughter was working with me one day and she too had the Ninja experience. Monica was dusting along and precariously perched on a couple of books was a collectible car, which always drives off the books when anyone approaches. This time, just as the little car was driving away, Monica was startled by the Ninja. No matter what it is, the Ninja always shows up, if I ever do break anything I am certain that I will be caught red handed.

For years this happens to me on a regular basis, I think it has traumatised me, nah! Stealth and always there when something happens the "Ninja of the Collectibles" is always on my ass. I can honestly say that he among my most favorite people, always keeping me on my toes, with an enormous smile always on his face. Perhaps one day I will be faster than the Ninja and catch him walking through walls or flying through the air.

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KITCHEN COUNSELOR "CLOSED"

Written by Captain Mary on Thursday, March 07, 2013

KITCHEN COUNSELOR "CLOSED"

I got a phone call on Wednesday, my regular day with the "Kitchen Counselor", and had a request for advice. I had to give advice all on my own. I sometimes get it right, but I need back up from time to time. This was one of those times. My counselor was off in the Bahamas, without notice, imagine that!

The subject was marriage, should I or shouldn't I give advice on this subject. I understand that marriage is so important to some people, the ceremony that binds for all time the love that two people share. I get it, a commitment of a life time. When you think you have found that person and have spent so many years with that person, the obvious conclusion would be marriage.

As I thought about the pros and cons of this particular situation, I recognized that financially that it would be an expensive proposition, between, benefits, health insurance, taxes, etc...not in the best interest of the couple. That is not to say that there is a way that people can be committed to each other without legal documentation. I understand the partner is so afraid of loosing everything in an ugly divorce. Of course, this is thinking gone wrong. To think about the end and not the commitment of love, seems awkwardly backwards. I thought about a Prenuptial agreement, and as I continued to think about it, I wondered what he had to protect. So, I came up with a list of the most expensive pieces of his property. The home, completely up-side-down, who could afford it or even sell it, who would want it in a divorce. Next, the car, that is funny, the boat, funnier, I couldn't come up with anything that was substantial enough to put into a prenuptial agreement without laughing my ass off.

The both of them love each other and have been together for over 7 years. Saying that you don't want to get legally married because of the government, is just an excuse, because each of the problems made by the government marriage can be managed by paying a little more attention to the law. It states simply that if it was yours, it stays yours. If it is not in your name, it doesn't belong to you. A "Will" allows you to give anyone you want, your belongings. I think that in the event of a divorce the best bet in this situation is to run, don't walk, who wants to get stuck with all the debt and old stuff, seriously!

Then who is to say that there couldn't be a marriage, with or without the legal documentation. Moving into the new millennium it tends to have more benefits not to get the legal documents. Not saying that a contract of commitment couldn't be drafted. I would think that this document would have more weight, because it is based in love and commitment in their own words. A contract is a contract, it is still a legal document, without the government using it against you. It stays private in a box in your home, where it means something to the both of you. After 7 years in their relationship they already consider themselves married, the only thing missing is a wonderful day of celebration of their love. A honeymoon would be a plus.

Anyway, this is the advice that I can give, something to ponder, thinking about both sides of the relationship. I have tried to consider today's world in this conundrum. Just a bit of a thought. What advice can my readers offer to this debate?


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NUTS ABOUT COCONUTS

Written by Captain Mary on Friday, March 01, 2013


Maybe I am over-reacting to this but I can't help wonder why people think they can just take what ever they want. I came home last night with trucks in my way, as workers were blocking my drive way. As I pull into my driveway, I notice a man hacking away at a coconut. I looked up at my palm tree and noticed all the beautiful coconuts that I have been waiting to ripen were gone.

I plant them and patiently wait for a palm tree, all of the coconut palms that are growing in my yard I grew from seed. I have many, it reminds me so much of what Florida landscape is all about. I immediately accused the man of taking my coconuts. He pretended not to understand, and then said that a man standing near the palm tree said it was alright to take them. I wonder who that man was! The neighbor wasn't home and wouldn't let people just take my property without my permission. Then the thief said he was sorry and continued loading my coconuts into the work truck. I called the county and told them that their contracted help was stealing from my property. Their reply was for me to call the police, I called the non-emergency line and would you believe they have office hours and they were closed. My only alternative was to call 911, that seemed like a waste of tax dollars. I thought for a moment and walked over to the workers, finding one that spoke English, which was a plus. He agreed with me and then I looked over at the man who had taken my coconuts and told him, "Give me my coconuts back or I will call the police!".

The thief apologized several more times and brought all my coconuts back to my front door, I don't know if I can save them, because they were leaking out all the coconut water. I couldn't believe how many he had taken. I felt a bit of satisfaction, even if I threw all the coconuts out. I think he got a lesson, but this has happened so many times to me. I have had people parked in my yard with their pole saws just cutting my coconuts down right in my front yard. The funny part is...all they had to do is knock on my door and ask permission. I would gladly give them away for a simple courtesy. I don't understand why it is acceptable to remove fruit from other peoples property, if it doesn't belong to them then it is stealing!

With my imagination in gear, I had to come up with something that would make it clear that my coconuts are not free for the taking. I went into the craft room and retrieved some white paint, proceeded to paint my coconut palm with a message. "NO COCONUTS". I hope the future will produce coconuts that I can keep for myself. Would you go on to someones property and just take what you want and have the audacity to opening harvest them without a thought about what you are doing?

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Aerojet Facility and Family Fun

Written by Captain Mary on Sunday, February 24, 2013

Today we planned a bike ride, with my son, Jason, daughter, Monica, her beloved, Jeff and grandson, Max. We headed out on an amazing adventure to one of Florida's Abandoned Past. A place that is far down into Homestead, passing the farmers fields and just before the Everglades National Park. Down an almost abandoned road lies a facility that has long been forgotten.

The road access is limited, at the end of access are signs "Keep Out", but there is no one to tell us otherwise. It is a good place to explore. Along the roadways are many abandoned buildings. Most doors are welded shut and mounds of rock and soil are piled up, so that no one can access the buildings, but there are many ways in. It reminded me so much of my teens, when it was so much fun to find and explore abandoned houses, farms, fields and what ever else we could find. We would then explore, as if we were on an adventure or perhaps some place in the future where we were looking back into the past. Into the ruins of civilizations that have long past.

The Aerojet Facility has a long past, in the mid 1960's it was testing rockets for NASA, mixing solids and liquid fuels, experimenting until they got it right. After the 3rd launch the facility was forced to close after the toxins from the launch poisoned much of the Everglades, farms and ruined peoples homes and property. The Aerojet 260 rocket still remains at this facility over 100 feet below the ground, sealed off from most on-lookers.The history of the place was just a plus, the environment of the area is what has the most interest. I climbed over mountains of rubble to look at what remained. Darkened corridors made my mind wonder about what it was like some 45 years ago. Like a detective we all looked at gauges and hoses, each building had it purpose and our purpose was to figure out what it once was. Almost every wall was adorned with amazing graffiti, we all spoke of how these artist were wasting their talents on something only a few people will ever gaze upon.

We went into each building, some made sounds that made them very creepy. It was so interesting to see how nature eventually takes over these man-made structures. As the building crumble, they leave behind remnants of asbestos and who knows what other toxins. We looked deep into holes, that are now filled with stagnant water, only wondering what lurks beneath our view. Light fixtures still hanging from the ceiling and attached to the crumbling walls. Canals run along the back of the buildings, where once barges could transport rockets to the Space Coast.

As we entered one of the buildings we were delighted to see a very large Owl take flight, he had a very large wing span and was light in color. As we explored that building we found where he had his meals, little skeletons of rodents remain. The air was so silent I could hear a fly, literally. The only sounds we heard were the creaking of metal and the leaves moving in the wind. So far from civilization, looking at a once bustling facility, now abandoned and virtually forgotten. What remains is a nature trail now and a look into a past that very few will ever see or know about.

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HOLY MOLE

Written by Captain Mary on Saturday, February 16, 2013

Today, I spent much of the day doing yard work, looking around to remodel some of my landscaping. Working at a slow pace, but still having a little problem with snags. Snags??? Yep! I am talking about this annoying and hideous mole that I have on my leg. It is so large it sticks through my fish net stockings, and can't be hidden with just one band aide. I have had it with this thing. It has been snagged so often it is just hanging there, so every time I touch it I am in pain.

Couldn't help thinking about this thing. So, I finally decided that I was going to remove it myself. Yes!!! Self-Surgery. First, I gathered my supplies, Betadine solution, scissors, eye glasses (so I can see), face cloths, cotton balls and spray on anesthetic. Preparing the mole for removal and my tools for surgery, I began. There was just one problem, it is creepy cutting yourself. I started by just snipping a little bit at a time, cringing at the thought of hurting myself. I am not fond of pain! After a few minutes it was time to make the final snip.

I looked at this hideous ball of flesh, and wondered why it took me so long to cut it off. Again, disinfecting my little wound and bandaging it, I sighed in relief and look forward to wearing fish net stockings again. I continued my yard work without a snag or even thinking about the mole that ended up in my trash. I thought about keeping it, but pushed that thought right out of my head. I thought I would share this little tidbit with my readers, something a little gross and perhaps a bit crazy. I just wonder how much it would have cost to have the mole excised at a doctors office!

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MY KITCHEN COUNCILOR

Written by Captain Mary on Wednesday, February 06, 2013

I don't have an exotic job, nor do I get up in the morning and look through my closet for the latest fashion trend to put on for the office. No make-up, just soap and water, and I look through my clothing for the worst looking, bleach stained things to put on my body to head out for a day of work. Granted, my self esteem is not assisted by my wardrobe choices. Instead my spirits our lifted by my customers, most of which, have been with me for over 10 years.

It doesn't seem awkward to just open the door and walk through as if it were my own home. What they don't know, is that I get more out of these relationships than they know.  These relationships started out as an exchange of work for money, then for some reason it became something I look forward to. Some customers are great friends, others are just like family, but I have one who by far has made a place for me to change my life. Just imagine how lucky I am to have counseling every week for over 10 years. Imagine the cost. When she is out of town, I miss her dearly, I have to work through my dilemmas on my own. I hear her voice in the back of my brain and work it out.

My Kitchen Councilor shall remain anonymous, if I reveal her name, I would have to wait in line and I wouldn't be able to have her all to myself. From the mundane, to the massive, she can tackle any problem that I can conjure up. When I bring my daughter to work with me, I can hardly get a word in, my counseling session is taken away for the day. I don't mind, because my Kitchen Councilor can put a perspective on a problem that gives you that moment of aha! Why didn't I think of that?

I remember how crazy I was and how I was very emotional, a bit brass too. I now take my time and have figured out what is really important in life. The things that seemly appear to be inconsequential, like smelling a flower seem more important than thinking about the bills that are due. A matter of fact the smell of the flowers reached more of my senses and made me feel better than just going through life not paying attention. Laughing and talking while scrubbing carpet stains, it doesn't get any better than that!!

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MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT YOGA

Written by Captain Mary on Tuesday, January 15, 2013

I am feeling so great these days I don't know what to do with myself. I can feel my body returning to normal, if anything I do could be considered normal! Anyway, with encouragement from friends and a cancellation in my work schedule I made it to a class. Not certain what Yoga is all about, I figured it was slow enough for my old broken body. I have a genetic advantage, I am very flexible, which means I can touch my toes, even with my big gut in the way.

A few of my customers do Yoga and they are in excellent condition, they told me how great they feel after. I had not heard a negative comment about this exercise ever. So, I am at class and it starts out pretty simple, I could feel the stretch. As the class progressed the difficulty increased, it was then I realized that it takes strength to accomplish some of these crazy poses. I found my arms and legs shaking as I forced myself to hold it. It is very isometric, which works for me, since my lack of any kind of exercise has left me pretty weak. Today, was an eye opening experience. Just trying to keep my ass up in the air was a challenge in itself. I laughed at myself and enjoyed the class dynamic.

I botched one of the poses and ended up rolling on the floor and almost rolled on top of my Matt mate. The class roared with laughter, which is always good medicine for me. If you can't laugh at yourself than you are just too damn serious. The rest of my day was energized and happy. I don't think that I could stress about anything if I wanted to!

The class continued and we were almost finished with our work-out, when Shelah, our instructor, said that we should have a little fun and try a pose that is very difficult. I am always open for a challenge, it's my nature. So, her daughter got in front of the class to demonstrate this pose, I could not believe my eyes. I thought Shelah must be out of her mind, who could do this without a lot of attempts and crashes on their heads? Everyone in the class gave it an attempt and so did I. Several attempts later and I managed to get it done. It was a pose I could only hold for seconds, but the important part was that I got it done.

A boost to my ego, a good laugh, and an hour with friends. What a way to interrupt the work week.


One thing about this pose is my ass doesn't look as big as it is. Pretty impressive pose if I do say so myself. I guess you are never too old for Yoga.

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KRITTER KAMP IS FULL THIS WEEKEND

Written by Captain Mary on Friday, January 11, 2013




Oh how I love my kids, I must! They are all off paddling on the Peace River while I stay home with all my grand dogs. Hanna, the Shepard: Barclay, the springer spaniel: Alley, the Shepard, husky mix: plus my two. I would say Kamp is full.

I was busy at work while Hanna and Alley were dropped off at my house, after work I went and picked up Barclay. I was pretty slick and came in the back door, so I didn't have any run aways. I left Barclay outside, so that the animal interaction was minimal, Bogey and Kiwi were safely locked away in my bedroom.

Much to my surprise I walked in to a major disaster, food bowl knocked over and food all over, mixed with dog pee pee. Alley is just a puppy and I guess she just couldn't hold it. That wasn't all, there were toys all over the place as if the toy box exploded. They were happy to see someone who was going to open the door to the great outdoors. I really couldn't get mad, I think I even giggled a bit, that was after I cleaned up all the pee pee. And thank goodness my delivery of orange oil came, the perfect time for a strong smelling deodorant cleaner and I can eat it if I want.

After a mere five hours Barclay and Alley finally laid down, poor Hanna planted by the front door awaiting her family's return. Kiwi was the one who was relentlessly picked on. Bogey, on the other hand got a few good bites in on ankles, enough to let them know who the boss was. I don't know what Jason is going to do with Barclay, he humps everything, he just hasn't figured out the right end of the dog to hump. Poor Alley is literally getting head. My feet are a sticky mess from all the drool and the smell of dog is so strong I can't smell the odor of cigarettes. I anticipated as much and this morning I picked up half a dozen odor absorbers. So far so good, I just hope that all the dogs leave me a little room in bed for sleep. Not that I let them, but Barclay always sneaks in and I don't know a thing about Alley, except she is funny looking.

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2012 NOW IN THE PAST

Written by Captain Mary on Monday, December 31, 2012

I thought it would be nice to recap my past year, 2012. I know one thing that I thought couldn't happen was that I became closer to my children. Our conversations much more frequent and shared so many laughs together. I made them my priority, and made an effort to spend more time, even if only on the phone, with my siblings. I found that the more we spoke with each other, the more I loved them. Imagine that, just when I thought I couldn't love them anymore than I do.

We shared some amazing time with each other, Thanksgiving, Italian Club nights, Cruise to Mexico, well it doesn't get better than that. I really enjoy those "look who is coming to town" trips. Dad, Cheryl, and June, were great this year for pop In's. This new year, I am going to make an effort to pop-in on them.

I worked hard and often last year, my busiest of years. It seems that from time to time I actually put in 8 hours in a day. I also have had the joy of working with Monica, when she is on the clock with me, work seems to fly by. We talk and talk, sometimes I can't even remember working. Once a week I head to my sons house and spend some time with him. I also made certain that my grandchildren know who I am and love me crazy. It seems that the most fun I have with my family is working together, no matter what the project. Last year we certainly had a lot of projects around the homes of all of us.

The past year also brought in a new, old president. I am not certain about the country, all I can hope for is that I don't have to pay more to live in America. No matter what the politics are, my priority is survival and love for my friends and family. I don't need anything fancy in my life, just freedom to live my life in a happy state. Letting things that don't matter go from my thoughts, keeping the stress away. I learned many times that things always work out, to stress over it serves no purpose. I have been much happier in the face of turmoil and tragedy, because things just happen out of my control. I spent last year learning more and more about life and how to live in it. It is easier then you think to just be happy!

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WILD CAT BLUES

Written by Captain Mary on Monday, December 24, 2012

It was a regular pet sitting gig, so I thought. After working for over 10 years at this particular home I was asked if I could pet sit three kitties. One of the kitties is a yellow tabby, very old, perhaps over 18. I thought in my head "How hard could this be?" The old kitty, Wigloff, has diabetes and needs an insulin injection daily. The owner showed me how to do this procedure, and it seemed so simple.

The first day of the gig has arrived, with numerous instructions and duties I began my rounds. First watering the plants and checking for mail, packages and such. Next is cleaning the liter box and feeding the kitties. Placing water glasses and bowls all over the house while looking for the illusive Wigloff, whose is always hiding. He was standing in the door way of the office I simply picked him up, brought him to where I had prepared his injection and the job was done. Spending some time with the other cats petting and talking to them.

The next day was not as simple, but did the job. The third day, Wigloff had turned into a Wildcat. Searching for him was always the first task, found him in the closet and when I reached for him, he began to hiss and growl. I thought it was more bark than bite, because he was an old boy. Never one of the friendliest cats, but should be manageable. Much to my surprise, the cat lunged at me and bit the heck out of me. I couldn't give up on him, he needed his injection.

As the days went by, Wigloff became more and more vicious. I had to secure some thick leather gloves to protect my hands. I soon found out that the gloves would not be enough. My hands were safe for awhile, but my arms were shredded and bleeding. I couldn't help thinking that I was dealing with a bobcat or cougar. By now grabbing the cat had to be timed perfectly, because I only had so much blood to spare. Now, the cat had decided he was a crocodile and did the death roll. Finding a way to give Wigloff his much needed injection had become a life and death procedure, and it was my life I was worried about. It had become almost impossible to give Wig his injection. After wrestling with the cat, with leather gloves and long sleeves on, I took a deep breath. I took off my gloves over the kitchen counter and blooded poured out, I could only burst into tears and began shaking.

Shaking and tears running down my cheeks I could only think that no amount of money is worth the pain I am in to give an injection to a cat, who clearly doesn't want it. After trying virtually everything I could think of, I left the house completely defeated and horrified that something would happen to Wigloff due to the pure stress of the whole ordeal.

I went home thinking that the only thing I could do is to take Wigloff to the vet and let them deal with the cat. But, then I had not done the job that I was hired to do. The next morning I woke with a an idea in my head that could save the cat and myself from injury and stress. How about a net! I can't wait to try it out.

I was expecting the death roll once the cat hit the net and a tangled mess, but I thought it would definitely save my now swollen and infected hands. I brought with me my grandsons to aid in this now very scary, difficult task. I sent the boys to search for Wigloff while I performed my other numerous duties. Now, net in hand and heading to where the wildcat was hiding, I simply slipped the net over Wigloff and he remained motionless, which allowed me to give him his injection without event. A sigh of relief overcame me, for now the feeling of defeat has lifted and I felt like my job can now be done without risking injuries to myself and Wigloff. Wig, didn't know how close he came to spending the rest of the time locked in a kennel at the vets office. The ordeal over, the still growling kitty simply walked away after I lifted the net.

This is one smart kitty cat, I still can't help thinking he is going to wise up the net theory and find a way to tear me to shreds again. Still 8 days left to my grueling punishment I arrive thinking what way will the cat find to defeat me. This has become much more than a pet sitting gig at this point, it has become a challenge to complete a task with a wild animal. It is so much like entering the jungle with only me and the lion, and my survival depends on how I out smart the vicious feline.

More time passed and the smart kitty, became harder and harder to capture in the net, he hid in places that didn't allow me to make an easy netting. Once I got the net over Wig he became wild as they get, his little arms sticking out of the holes in the net, wanting to get a piece of me. Still avoiding damage to myself, I had to add a towel over his head to keep him calm until I was able to touch him without a vicious attack. I must admit I leave the house now with a feeling of satisfaction. Wig is eating well and definitely in good health. As I write now, there is only 1 more day left to my mission. Normally I think of pet sitting as easy money, but this time I have met my match.

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FIVE DAY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION

Written by Captain Mary on Sunday, September 23, 2012

A surprise party for my sister Cheryl, started over 10 months ago. I was contacted by my sisters husband, Joe, who wanted to make her day very special. The planning and keeping this a surprise was a big event. I must admit that I almost slipped up a couple of times, but it remained a surprise to the very last minute.
We took off on the Carnival ship Paradise for a trip to Cozumel, Mexico, but most of the adventure was aboard the ship. The sunrise marked the first full day at sea and the real beginning of fun. With Dad as my room-mate and some of Cheryl's friends we had a group of 8. The first day at sea we spent most of the time lost, but met up at events. We played Bingo, we went to comedy shows, we danced on the deck with the stars above. We even put on a Hip-Hop show, where Dad and Joe spent most of their time laughing at us. I must admit that I couldn't remember the moves at all, which made it all the more fun.
Woke up to a rainbow and everyday I wished my sister a Happy Birthday. I wish I could do this more often, that is, spending time with family, where the only objective was to enjoy each other and have fun. No worries about getting anywhere or having to cook or clean. Everything was taken care of by the staff. All we had to do was enjoy ourselves from September 13th through the 17th.

Our shore excursion was to see a beach and the ruins of Tulum, where the Mayan people once lived. A step into a long lost history. Of course, we had to stop off at a Tequila factory for some samples first. My first step into history had to be the fall off the tour bus, I think it had something to do with Tequila. I landed hard on my knees and heard a clunk of my camera hitting the pavement. The only thing I thought about was my camera, not the fact that I was laying on the ground still. I got myself up only after checking my camera. I am still sporting the bruises from the miss-step.

The guide at the ruins was very verbose, so I began wandering off to see the ruins on my own. As I began exploring I noticed that my sister had the same idea. Cheryl tried to wave the others over but they stayed and listened to the guide go on and on. We began our adventure and completed the entire tour alone. The Mayan people do have a lot of alters for their sacrifices. We continued our walk through the jungle that seemed like miles and finally caught up with the others at the gift shops.
After the tour we headed to a beach marked with sticks, they were protruding out of the ground all along the shore. The sticks were marking turtle nests, according to our guide there were 7 different kinds of sea turtles that made this area their nesting grounds. All along the shore I could see tiny tracts leading to the sea, where some of the turtles had made their way to the ocean. The water was beautiful and blue almost matching the sky. I only wish that we had more time to enjoy and explore, because the water is where I find myself the happiest.
Back to the ship for our journey home. We enjoyed our last day and night at sea. What a celebration for my sister. Fun was had by all in spite of the crazy tourist now and then. The weather was just perfect and our time at sea was smooth. As I drove home from Tampa after the cruise, I couldn't help thinking about my family and how perfect they really are. So many different personalities that make dysfunction fun. All I know is that there really isn't anything in life more important!
Now is time to plan the next cruise, more than 10 months from now, but as we all know time flies when your having fun.

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KNOWING YOUR CHILD LOVES YOU

Written by Captain Mary on Wednesday, June 27, 2012




 
Bogey


 
Kiwi


 Today, a usual day. Except that I was getting some much needed home repairs done. I enlisted my daughter and her beloved to do the job. They unlocked the gate to get supplies in and neglected to shut the gate behind them. Really no big deal.

Upon checking up on my dogs my daughter noticed that she could not locate my precious little Bogey. She began calling for Bogey and nothing, then Monica began to panic. She got the neighbor involved in the search and Jeff, her boyfriend got in his truck, off they went to locate the missing mutt. Bogey was no where to be found, by then I had pulled up to my house and found sitting, hystericly crying was my beautiful daughter. That is when I found out that she thought she had lost my little man.

I knew that Bogey has never run off, he just doesn't find the need to travel, but he does love to hide. Monica said that she had looked all through the house and he never came when called. Bogey has a bad habit of staying very quiet when he doesn't want to be found. Poor Monica and Jeff had searched the neighborhood, shouting, which alerted some neighbors that proceeded to call the police. Now with the police driving around the neighboorhood, there isn't a chance that Bogey would be lost.

After trying to calm Monica down, I realised that she was so upset because she thought it would break my heart if Bogey was lost. It would, but what broke my heart is to see my beautiful daughter so distroyed. Did she think that she wasn't more important than Bogey. Not a chance!



My Monica did all this for me, 45 minutes of complete hysterics and guess where Bogey was! He certainly didn't stay outdoors, he was tucked under my desk, completely silent, so that no one would make him go outside. The look of relief on Monica's face when I brought the little hideaway out, was one of ultimate relief, and a bit of anger toward little Bogey. All is well and I bet the next time there is work done around the house the dogs will be in lock down.

I must admit I was glad to see him safe as well. The best part was to see Monica smile again and Jeff was happy that Monica was happy. Because if Mama isn't happy no one is happy. 
                                                                                                                           



Bad Bogey



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