Cappy's Corner

2020 IN REVIEW

    January arrived and I was filled with excitement. My grandchildren would arrive and fill my home with sounds of youth and curiosities about life and the world around us. This year, the year of my official retirement and boy do I have travel plans for this year. I have planned an amazing trip to the other side of the world. Starting in Singapore and circling around Malaysia and Indonesia and then go to Japan perhaps. My grandchildren and myself, experiencing what Asia has to offer.

      Perhaps that last sentence was a bit of a give away, what did Asia have to offer after all? As, it happens, the trip of amazement and wonder was cancelled 20 days before we were to arrive at our destination. This trip was to be a gift to my grandson, Samuel, a way to show my grandchildren other parts of the planet. Shyanne, was already gifted such a trip, but to Europe, and now I have created a monster, she finds herself on many of my excursions. When a person breaks out of the box of our mundane existence and begins to explore, something explodes in our life. The world gets bigger and better as we reach beyond our familiar surroundings and actually get to be part of it. So much better then watching the Discovery Channel. 

    The world as we knew has just changed with the onset of this world-wide virus. I can't say that I get involved in the hype and panic that the news and propaganda want us to hear. I can't stand looking into peoples faces and can no longer see smiles or frowns, an absence of expression makes life around me very depressing. As things progressed into quarantines things got worse. Just when you think it can't get worse it does. I don't want to get into so many of my conspiracy theories, although there are many, but it is hard to overcome an overall feeling of sadness everywhere I go. To see so many friends and family in fear, as if living with the fear of death is the new way of life. Should anyone live their life this way as if we all had terminal illnesses, and afraid of the person next to them giving them the plague. I wish that it was over, this virus that is not just killing people but destroying our happiness down deep in the depth of our souls. I am a staunch believer that life should be filled with as much happiness and love you can muster. With so much damage done to our lives, will we ever recover?

    I am lucky to have work when I want it, so I don't have the additional worries of not making ends meet on top of all the short comings and restrictions of today's lifestyle. I would have never guessed that I wouldn't be able to hug people that I love. This year I lost my little friend Bogey, my Maltese dog. I had to wait in the car while the vet assistant carried my little man to his death. I sat waiting in tears for them to bring him back to me, so he would get his proper burial at home. As I looked inside the cardboard box which they so carefully posed him and covered him like a sleeping beauty, I became hysterical over my loss, because at that moment I found myself more alone then I had ever been. I found at that moment that there are people in this world, pandemic or not who knew I needed a hug. My friends from the office came out and gave me a hug. Don't want to give names but I have the best veterinarian team in the world. 

    The months are slowly passing by, hope dwindling at each corner. The safe places are being replaced with violence, racism, and pure hate for our fellow man. My earlier predictions came true when the election began to heat up and the way we treated each other only declined more. I hate to say it, I also noticed that so many people have become clones following masses into stupidity. I guess this is what it feels like just before a civil war breaks out. I can only hope that it doesn't turn into World War 3 and we can see the errors of our current thought process before it's too late. 

    The holidays this year have come and gone, they just didn't have the happiness a family waits all year for. Most were cancelled just because I didn't have to think about all the people I miss, instead of enjoying them all I could see was the masked, social distanced people I use to see smile.

    So much has happened to crush my soul, yet I will always have my family who picks me up when I am having a hard time standing. I am smothered with hugs when I am with them, if I go to jail or die from a plague for this, then so be it. What has happened, getting in trouble for loving? 

2 comments | Posted in » Adventures, Controversy, Fun or Disfunction, MY LIFE