KIDS SAY THE DAMNEST THINGS

Written by Captain Mary on Friday, June 27, 2008

It was 7:10 AM on Thursday morning, damn it, something isn't right. I normally am out the door and on the way to dropping the kids off at school. You got it, I forgot to set the alarm. So off to getting ready. I start yelling out to the kids "it is time to get up," no answer. They are both sound asleep in my bed. We all fell asleep to Hannah Montana. Again, "it is time to get up." Jazzy starts to move, yes, some reaction and signs of life. JT, well, he just laid there, as if REM just started, out cold. I walk up next to him and start to rub his belly, "JT, time to get up." No answer, as if he had been drinking all night, 3 years old and hibernating. His arms cocked back behind his head, kind of the position you would find an old man enjoying the fruits of a good old fashion hammock. "JT, time to get up." He finally spits out the word "stupid," still half asleep. I start to rub his belly again. "Stupid." Wow he is an angry little man when he does not want to wake up. I move to other means and give him a zerbert. For those of you who are not familiar with the phrase, it is when you take a big breath of air and press your lips against a surface and let out the oh so famous fart sound. So I pull up his shirt and proceed. I then get the flying fist of furry right to the top of the nose. Checking to see if the little shit busted my nose, I smirk in aw and there is a little bit of laughter, yes, I am a bit amused by the whole situation. Once more, "JT, time to wake up." He replies, with eyes still shut, half ass asleep, "waking up is stupid." For those of you who do not know JT, he really is the sweetest little boy. More like that teddy bear you could never give up. He has this squeaky little voice, like a chipmunk on helium. His innocence is so nostalgic of your happiest childhood memories. Back to the story. Still nothing is working, just can't get this little booger up and going. The next step, bounce the bed. I feel this will annoy the hell out him and should do the trick. To my surprise, with a crumpled little expression, I get the shock of a life. My little angel, replies in reaction to the bouncing bed " you stupid fuck, I am sleeping" Wow, normally this would not fly in my household, but, today is just one of those days. I about bite my bottom lip off to keep from laughing. Jazzy has both hands over her mouth trying to hold back from laughing. Lets just say he finally got up and the day started. They say it only takes one emotion to set your day off, today, it was all good.

Written By Jason

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  1. 1 comments: Responses to “ KIDS SAY THE DAMNEST THINGS ”

  2. By FIRST MATE on July 2, 2008 at 11:53 AM

    I have one for you...I had dropped off my eldest child at the mall with her friend to watch a movie. First time for that!! My middle child, now upset, says that it wasn't fair that she gets to go and not him, well he is only 8 yrs old. I told him that when he is older he could go with his friends. My youngest, 5 yrs old, says to the older one, "Life isn't fair!" That falls in to this category for sure!!!