Written by Captain Mary on Friday, August 29, 2008

My fellow Americans I would like to address the tax payers and voters of this country. I am currently developing my platform. These are just some of the changes I will be making if elected President.

  • The War will be discontinued and all military will be recalled to their home, where we really need them. I will be doing some severe trimming here. $100 toilet seats and such a thing of the past.
  • Taxes: You will just love this, imagine you get to keep your paycheck, all of it. Think about the stimulus to the economy. You will only pay taxes on purchases, the amount will be 30%, if you consider this amount high, think about how much comes out of your paycheck and then the home taxes you pay on your already taxes paycheck, then purchases, seems like more than 30% to me. This is the best part, there will be no discrimination, the more you buy the more you pay. Seems fair to me. This means the rich don't have the loop-holes to slip through while the regular guy pays the taxes, no more IRS needed. Sorry about the workers of the IRS, we hate them anyway, now they can get job so people can like them again.
  • There are far too many laws on the books. Its time to start over with the first documents that are forefathers signed. You know the ones freedom, etc., etc., the right to protect yourself and property. The simple things will stay.
  • Social Security, how about this, its optional! It will be paid out in one lump sum, what you actually put in, plus reasonable interest, that's the least the government could do for borrowing your money. By the way if you piss it away too bad, lets get less dependant on something that really won't help that much in the first place.
  • Medical Care, come on, who would need insurance if the medical services didn't charge completely ridiculous fees. Lets face it an aspirin doesn't cost $10, even with installation.
  • Insurances, it wasn't that long ago that people did the right thing when they ran into your car, somebody is making way too much money. My suggestion is, if we do not file a claim during our policy period, we should receive a refund check or credit toward our next policy in the amount of 50%. Another suggestion is that each policy holder should be treated as an individual and not have increases due to national averages and the state. Good drivers pay little, let the bad drivers pay the premiums, why should the others suffer. That goes for homeowners, flood and windstorm, all other types of policy's. Again somebody is making way too much money off the public. Isn't that extortion.
  • Schools, this is a simple one, why should the people that don't have children pay the price. Each child should pay a tuition, citizens pay less than none citizens, it should be encouragement to become one. Teachers will be revered as keepers of the future, they don't do this for money, they do this for love, so they should be paid graciously. Another option is to home school, those kids are smarter anyway.
  • Welfare, this is one of my favorites, nobody gets anything, too many people come to this country to burden the rest of us, can't determine who really deserves it. Now we don't need those jobs, sorry guys, move on. Its time to clean up the high paid government positions. Where is the community and the Church's when people need help, the community, friends, family, that's who should take care of the needy. Lets have a little more participation in helping our fellow man.
  • This is just the beginning of my platform, but as you can see I have done some trimming. All your suggestions will be taken into consideration.

Well Thank you so much and I would appreciate your votes. I have nothing bad to say about people running against me, what kind of person would I be if I did that. What would we be teaching our future voters.

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  1. 1 comments: Responses to “ CAPTAIN MARY FOR PRESIDENT ”

  2. By Anonymous on August 29, 2008 at 9:47 AM

    Ya know, you make even Barack look less appealing now.