Written by Captain Mary on Tuesday, August 05, 2008

This is one of those subjects that just makes me angry. My daughter is sitting right this moment at the Dade County Court House waiting for her case against her x to begin. Of course the case was scheduled at 7:45am, what time is it now, anyway. He is in contempt again for none payment of Child Support, they have three children together and he thinks the $20 he sent in April is good enough. This is not the first time he has been in court for contempt, this is probably the third, they still didn't arrest him. It seems to me that our court system just doesn't have a clue on what to do with the thousands of Dead Beat Dad's across the Nation. I have a few suggestions, but those would leave the children without Dad's. He has already lost his drivers license, his business license, his passport, what does it take for these guys to get the message. My daughter has spent days in tears over the whole situation, thinking her kids will hate her because Daddy went to jail. Simply explained the man doesn't care about his children at all, if he did perhaps he wouldn't be out on his boat or playing in the local golf tournament, spending all kinds of money on recreational fun, surfing, skating, etc... this guy is a total looser and if you met his family you would know why. All I can hope for is that this time at Court the judge does something to help these children out, the money will help with so many things. A place to live, shoes, a box of crackers, you know the simple things, not a new surf board or new golf clubs. I just don't understand the priorities some people have. Pay up the $60,000 you owe in back support and keep up the payments, so these children don't have to worry about their next meal or if their father gives a shit. Well thanks for the good venting, I feel better. I just hope my daughter doesn't' come home in tears again.

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  1. 2 comments: Responses to “ DEAD BEAT DAD'S ”

  2. By Anonymous on August 5, 2008 at 12:09 PM

    In RI you eventually end up in jail if you fail to pay child support. But that's counterproductive if you ask me.

    In the case of your daughters ex though, I'd say he could more than afford to pay the child support and just chooses not to do so. He doesn't exactly have cheap hobbies.

    But then I've also seen guys screwed with obscene child support payment amounts. I think the system should look at the lifestyle of the parent paying support and then make a determination how much they could pay before they bleed dry. In other words, let them live, pay their mortgage or car note, and then determine the amount.

    Of course there are some guys who game the system. There's a case of one who lives with his parents in Barrington, RI who doesn't hold a regular job, therefore has no recorded income. So the courts keep bringing him in, finding out he has no income, and then pushing him out again. He's figured out how to game the system.

    Then there is that mythical beast, a divorce in which neither party gets screwed. But it isn't mythical, one of my best friends and his wife split up awhile ago. They didn't use attorneys at all, and he pays the mortgage on the home occupied by his ex-wife and kids and that is it. Fairly equitable if you ask me, as his ex-wife pays the school tuitions and household expenses.

    I hope your daughters kids get the money owed to them. And tell your daughter to stop worrying that her kids will hate her for doing this. She needs to explain to those kids that daddy doesn't give a shit about them.

  3. By Mini on August 6, 2008 at 2:25 PM

    Regarding my court date, this was his first contempt, not that it makes a difference. What is sad is that he was not the only father in court that day for nonpayment. Every case before mine was for contempt. Some of these guys haven't paid in YEARS!!! Did they walk? Yes and simply by paying their way out the day of court.

    I also think that incarcerating them is counterproductive, but they have to suffer a little, since the kids do.

    Our system is not designed to handle ALL the cases. They keep giving them chances, in hopes of ....not too sure.

    As far as my kids hating me, that was not the issue. I didn't want them to blame me, nor did I want to have to comfort them for something that I have no control of. It hurts me to see my kids upset and that is what I was worried about. He could have gone to jail for all I care, but again, that wouldn't get the support paid either...

    So how do you win this ongoing problem? You don't. Like lots of things in life, you grin and bear it. I give my kids everything I can on the salary I make. I make the sacrifices for them. At least they have one parent that does that. Look at all the kids out there that have no one at all. It all works itself out in the end. Plus I look at it like this, I get to see them everyday and watch them grow, he doesn't. He is missing out, not me. Money doesn't make happiness.